“Courage, Dear Heart…”-C.S. Lewis

 

“The most difficult part of making decisions isn’t figuring out the right answer (college); it’s having the courage to actually act on that knowledge…”-Business News Daily Senior Writer, Chad Brooks

I started dancing at 2 years old, did my first show at 10, began private voice lessons in the 6th grade, and being the typical “teacher’s kid” that I am, it seems I’ve always known the importance of education. For as long as I can remember the arts and academics never conflicted until this past year when I began to narrow down my college search. Being a passionate performer, who loves the Fine Arts, yet wanting to avoid being a starving artist, I decided on a well-rounded education. That decision, along with a love of politics, serving others, and leadership may later propel me into 3 years of law school. With these things in mind during my search, I categorized the colleges into three groups: 1) Bachelor of Fine Arts Musical Theatre programs  2) Broadcasting, Political Science, English, Pre-Law Programs  3) Liberal Arts foundation with good Theatre programs.

My Senior year was a whirlwind of college auditions, classes, and touring; it was exhausting, but rewarding in the end. Thankfully, I was accepted in each BFA program I auditioned for, including Belmont’s which I had aspired to be in since singing in the Nashville Children’s Choir in middle school. The May 1st deadline presented a problem. There were so many promising possibilities with the prospective programs, and little time to compare. Eventually I realized that there was no way I could pursue my love of literature, world affairs, humanities, history, etc. and be enrolled in a challenging BFA program. And yet, I could not picture myself in the future without performing and developing my passions. After narrowing my 20 plus school options and reluctantly saying “no” to Belmont, I knew I would dive headfirst into New York City or climb to the top of a mountain. When visiting the two distinct, diverse locations, I felt equally at home. Both schools’ scholarships were slowly equalizing. I prayed, researched, made pro/con lists, and prayed some more. In the end, I chose the mountain. There, I will be a Theatre and English Literature double-major with a minor in Global Studies, while continuing to study dance, private voice, and sing with the jazz band.

One month from today, I will begin a new chapter as a Freshman in college. This will be a time to experience the world and its wonders, become a deeper learner, and form new, enduring and authentic relationships for a lifetime. Life has many chapters which may allow me to broadcast, work for a non-profit, attend law school, write, perform on cruise ships, cafés, stages on Broadway or elsewhere, and hopefully become a full-time mommy one day.

“Each one should use whatever gift he (she) has received to serve others, faithfully administrating God’s grace in its various forms.”- 1 Peter 4:10

In Loving Memory of Mitchell

“In the blink of an eye, everything can change. So forgive often and love with all of your heart. You may never have that chance again.”

Tonight at 5:12 pm, Mitchell Mielnik passed away. I saw Mitchell around school a lot during his Freshman year; quite honestly, he was hard to miss with his height and warm smile. He exuded a positive energy. I did not meet him officially until the first day of my Senior year in Mr. Bruce’s 1^st period Theatre class. On the second or third day of class, we had to participate in an introduction exercise. Mitchell stepped up to the front of our classroom. He was confident in an unusually humble way. He immediately began sharing with the class about his passion for  hockey. As the year went on, he continued talking and laughing with his huge, contagious smile even when he was in pain after a hip injury.  Mitchell sat in a chair directly to the right of my desk for a couple of weeks as he was healing on crutches. I never heard him complain. When I was narrowing my college search, Mitchell and I shared conversations about Sewanee; he referred to the Domain as “actually the best campus.” He loved it and had hopes of pursuing higher education there. I joked that if I went to Sewanee, I could be his tour guide because I would have 2 years’ experience before him. I am so sad I’ll never have that opportunity. I am sad that I won’t get to see him play for the Sewanee hockey team, or the Preds.  When Mitchell got sick, we all started praying; people from all over the world were praying for him. His mom included us in his journey with their family through daily posts of updates on Caringbridge.com. She not only talked about her faith in the Lord, she lived it out. Today, upon his passing, I am reminded of James 4:14 and how precious this earthly life is: “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” Mitchell made an impact with his life; he showed love. He “…fought the good fight, finished the race, and kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7). While I am disappointed and questioning why prayers for a miraculous healing weren’t answered, I do know that there is a plan that is bigger than any of us can see now. Mitchell is no longer in pain, and is in a better place. Mrs. Bates, one of Mitchell’s teachers and one of my mentors reiterated this: “People across the world have seen an amazing example of a strong woman, and family facing adversity who hold strong to their faith. We do not know the reason for this situation, but we must believe that God has a much bigger plan.” I can’t imagine how his family feels now, but Psalm 34:18 says “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” I am praying for the Mielnik family, I am praying for the Hume-Fogg Class of 2017, and I am praying for all of Mitch’s friends and teammates. Thank you, Mitchell, for living out a meaningful, memorable life.

“Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.”-Revelations 14:13 (from a member of the HFA Class of 2017)

There’s a Light in the Darkness

One of the first songs I learned when I was young said this: “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red, brown, yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.” In spite of growing up in the South, I wore a naïve blindfold to racial tension until the ending of my Senior year, when it was finally thrust off by the Baltimore incident. At my high school we never talked about racial conflicts. Students of different ethnicities attended class together as a close-knit family. Upon researching my family history, I discovered I had a Scotch-Irish Highland King in my bloodline, had Cherokee ancestors on the Trail of Tears, and am a 34^th cousin to Queen Elizabeth (which doesn’t really count, or I’d be living in a manor in Stratford-Upon-Avon). Unfortunately, I also have ancestors who fought for the Confederacy and who owned plantations; I am ashamed of this. People give the excuse that the South fought for more issues than slavery, but ultimately the biggest right they were fighting to keep was just that. I cannot change my ancestors’ views or actions, but I can be sure that when I am blessed with children, they will be reared just as my Mom has reared me: to appreciate all cultures, to accept everyone, and hopefully be accepted irregardless of race. When I heard about the shooting in Charleston, not too far from one of the colleges I had considered attending, I was sickened. Why would something like this occur? How could someone be so troubled that they would take the lives of innocent individuals in a place of worship? President Obama remarked about this: “There is something particularly heartbreaking about the death happening in a place which we seek solace and we seek peace, in a place of worship.” I am unable to comprehend how someone’s heart could be so full of hatred, or how the healing process could even begin. The families of the victims are offering forgiveness to the perpetrator; it’s unfathomable and humanly impossible. He stole from them: he stole their fathers, mothers, grandmothers, and friends, yet they are forgiving him. This seems to be the most sincere testament of faith in action. Today, as I sat in church, I saw the touching sight of people from all backgrounds united in a special prayer for our country and for all involved in the horrific crime in Charleston, including the gunman and his family. They were praying for change in the United States, so that a tragedy like the one at the AME Episcopal Church will not occur again; so that the “dream” Dr. Martin Luther King spoke of will be able to come to fruition; so that all races will be considered equal in 21^st century America; so that generational prejudice will not continue to serve as a catalyst for crime.

“Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible.”- Maya Angelou

Graduation. Jazz. Me.

Upon graduation, I began reading a book given to me by my oldest brother, Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller. In this book Miller gives his “nonreligious thoughts on Christian spirituality.” In my own experiences the past 17 years, I have already learned that we all have our baggage. As a result of this baggage, life is going to be messy. Miller, who attended Reed, a liberal college in Portland, talks about the importance of loving all people regardless of their sexual orientation, race, etc. Contrary to fundamentalist Christian views, Miller stresses there will be Conservative, Republican Christians and there also will be Liberal, Democrat Christians. When my generation thinks of church, we often picture a stuffy room where a self-righteous preacher stands before the congregation and condemns everyone and everything, a type of Pharisee, if you will. This perception is not too far from the truth, even in a classroom environment. My experience in high school taught me many things, but one of the most important was the lesson of acceptance. I had an amazing group of culturally diverse friends made up of liberals, conservatives, Christians, agnostics, etc. I loved my school because it was an environment where everyone was welcomed and accepted; I was never judged or criticized for being a Christian. While my non-Christian friends never condemned me for my beliefs, I heard some of my Christian classmates talk harshly about peers who had differing opinions on religion. When this “holier-than-thou” attitude carried over into these friends “checking me” on innocent actions I made, I knew something had to change. In AP Literature, the common occurrence in all of the classic stories we read was an awakening/enlightenment/epiphany. I guess you could say I had a sort of awakening this year. No longer did I sit and listen to this group talk, I got up and started meeting other friends…different friends…incredible people. This decision was probably the best decision of my high school career. I didn’t stay away from people who were different, I embraced them. To my once close friends, I was turning down a path to “The Dark Side.” I’m sure they half expected to see Darth Vader walking with me to and from class. In my new state of mind, though, I was doing just as Jesus would’ve done. He truly loved, befriended, and hung out with everyone. Blue Like Jazz reminded me of the importance of my church’s motto: “Everyone’s welcome. Nobody’s perfect. Anything is possible.” In my life post high school, my main goal is to pursue God and the life He has for me wholeheartedly and with a fiery passion. I will make mistakes, I will have doubt, I will sin, and I will face failure because I am not perfect and I never will be. But I am also saved by His grace. No matter the size of my mistake, the lack of faith, the depth of my sin, or the extent of my failure, His beautiful love will always be real in every aspect of my life.

“I think Christian spirituality is like jazz music. I think loving Jesus is something you feel. I think it is something very difficult to get on paper. But it is no less real, no less meaningful, no less beautiful.”-Blue Like Jazz